Any attempt to intentionally damage your hammock will not only void all form of warranty, but also subject you to merciless ridicule internal to those who work at Dream Hammock. In the event that one fails to understand an April fools joke and intentionally damages their hammock as a result - Dream Hammock takes no responsibility. In addition, said individual is required by law to purchase a new Dream Hammock to atone for such a mistake... or not, I'm not a lawyer.